Today, I was chatting online with SM, and the conversation jumped from one topic to another, eventually leading to us discussing my dreams. That is, the dreams I’ve been having so frequently ever since church camp. And I normally don’t dream a lot. I’ll copy and paste the conversation since it’s more interesting than me ranting on and on about them yet not hitting the point.
*** Chocolate Pudding = me
*** shen mei = SM, obviously
Chocolate Pudding says:
ive been dreaming a lot these days
like almost every night
its weird
shen mei says:
wow
i hardly have dreams
at all
Chocolate Pudding says:
i hardly HAD dreams
just that ive been dreaming a lot these days
i wonder what that means
shen mei says:
means your mind is in a very free state
Chocolate Pudding says:
is it
my dreams are weird though
its like
its always in some funny race
not a marathon race
Chocolate Pudding says:
but like, amazing race kind of race
and its always in some place i duno
and with random people in my life
who are not necessarily related in any way
and then
i never know what im racing for
or where my destination is
i just know i have to keep on moving
and my vision seems to be permanently blurred
like, i can never see things clearly
but i can see enough to know the type of place I’m in
and then i wake up
they’re weird la
but they’re not scary
what does that mean!!!
shen mei says:
it means
you feel that life is like a race
a rat race.
something you are trapped in therefore you keep dreaming about it
you will keep dreaming until the day comes where you win the race ._.
Chocolate Pudding says:
wow
shen mei says:
lol the last part was nonsense paiseh
Chocolate Pudding says:
how do you know stuff like that
shen mei says:
well my theory
._.
Chocolate Pudding says:
ohh
shen mei says:
HAHA
Chocolate Pudding says:
HAHA
(I included the HAHA because I thought it looked cool XD)
That was about the more general idea about my dreams. And I’ve come to realise that it’s quite true. The places may be different, the people may have changed, but the main idea is that I’m always in a hurry, rushing for something, trying to find something, although I don’t know what it is. Does that mean I’m too caught up in my own busy life that I don’t have time for myself? Or does it just mean that I’m confused about the future and I don’t even know what I want? Because both of those assumptions are certainly true.
Another dream we discussed. A lighter topic.
Chocolate Pudding says:
i dreamt that i was playing the flute once and i couldnt get it right.
like, not blow right, but i didnt have a score
and i had to guess the notes we were playing
shen mei says:
hahahaha!
Chocolate Pudding says:
and the conductor was yelling at me
how do you explain the flute dream?
shen mei says:
very simple.
shen mei says:
you’ve had duet with me and talked to me often
you are fascinated by the flute!
Chocolate Pudding says:
I AM!
shen mei says:
you wish to learn a new instrument also
Chocolate Pudding says:
well thats true
yes it is
shen mei says:
that’s why you dream of yourself playing another instrument
and not the piano
Chocolate Pudding says:
but how do you explain the lack of a music score?
and the conductor yelling at me?
and me having to guess my notes?
shen mei says:
because you haven’t seen a proper flute score
when i went to your house
it was all in my notebook
in ABC
shen mei says:
and
you have inferiority complex
from your piano duet
you keep feeling that you’re not good enough
that’s why it manifests as scoldings from your conductor in your dreams
:\
And if you’re wondering, the conversation didn’t progress as smoothly as THAT. It was hindered by SM’s occasional DCs and us having to copy and paste stuff we typed that the other person didn’t receive. I also corrected typos, but I didn’t change the language, or any of the content. I just made it less confusing to read, since my MSN conversations can be quite complicated due to my sudden introductions of random phrases that are not related to what we’re talking about.
And it’s true that I want to learn a new instrument, and also that I find the sound of the flute so so beautiful.
