After 2 weeks May 1, 2009

I haven’t blogged in about 2 weeks. And strange thing was, I never noticed the absence of typing out my frustrations. I must really be changing.

 

It’s not that nothing happened, or nothing significant happened. On the contrary, there was quite a huge piece of good news(just that I’d rather not put it up here because like I said, I don’t like to have others’ expectations weighing down on me) but I just didn’t want to plague my blog entry with mundane rants about school life again and thought that if the only thing I could type about was that, I’d rather not type anything. I haven’t abandoned my blog though. I’ve been constantly checking for comments, and there have been quite a few Russian comments that I had to put in an online translator, even though I don’t know where they all came from.

 

Well, I think I’ve been confused more than anything these past few weeks. I don’t quite know where I’m headed in life, what I really want to be, even what I’m feeling. I don’t feel like I’m in the mood for anything I had the motivation to do last year. My interests haven’t changed, but my attitude sure has. I’m no sure if its more “’slack-ish”, or just that familiar phase of calm before the storm I always got in secondary school, but sometimes I think so much about it and can’t seem to reach a conclusion so I give up evaluating my own life altogether and do something else. And then I try to do it again hoping that I can get whatever answers I want from myself, it never works. I just wish I had the answers to all my questions, but I don’t think anyone ever really does. I just have to take what life gives me and cope with it the best I can.

 

I’ve also been listening to music a bit more these days. I can’t really pipoint the reason why, but I reckon it’s because it has the ability to make me feel like my old self and bring me back to moments in the past that I miss. Yet while I’ve been listening to music on YouTube more and more, I’ve been listening to songs on my mp3 less and less. I think half of my playlist is on YouTube now because I can’t seem to find the albums that I like in any CD stores since some are quite obscure, and I wouldn’t dare to download them. None of my friends have the songs I like, not that I’d expect them to because everyone has different tastes, and it makes me feel insecure somehow, to not have all the songs I like all in my mp3, ready for listening when I feel like it. Here are songs from all the bands partly so I can keep track of them and also if you have their albums you can lend them to me:

 

-Wir sind Helden

-Kaizers Orchestra

-Streetlight Manifesto

-Camera Obscura

-Daft Punk

 

Also I really think I need to start keeping a deutsche Tagebuch, because my vocabulary is so limited and I might begin by learning all the words that begin with ver-, ent-, er-, be-, and ge-. I get easily confused with these words since they all have the same beginnings and most times they have no resemblence to words with the same meaning in English. I feel that I should start treating this more seriously now since it’s not an extra subject but my core subject and I cannot flunk any more tests because money is at stake here.

 

I’ll end off with a song I really like.

‘Labyrinth’ – Wir sind Helden